02 January 2012 Spectrum - serenade

So, day three and I’m already one poem behind.  Sorry, I forgot until I was heading for bed and by then, it was already late and I was thinking I might attend Traci with going to the airport, but still woke up too tired.  Anyway, one poem behind means two for tonight.

Hit the jackpot on the first try as Pandora sent me a song by Florence and the Machine, one which I didn’t have; Spectrum.  So, that became my tone.  The subject could be a few for today, but my mind is dwelling on the aspect that Erik, my son, will be leaving at month’s end for New Zealand.  It’s hard not to think this is many beginnings and as a parent, maybe an ending as well.  I hope he has a good time, I hope he finds what he’s looking for, but I fear he might find that which keeps him from returning, or worse, that something happens to him that forever takes him away.  Yeah, sometimes these thoughts want to rise up and choke me.  Course, been down this path a few times, more than a few, with Brittany and Breah, even with those that I’ve loved and loved me in return at one time.  It’s hard to see how nothing stays the same and be expected to be okay with that fact.  Ah well, to the poem...

02 January 2012

Spectrum - serenade

I want to scream, I want to yell

but there’s no coming back from hell;

once lost you’re gone, no taking back––

there’ll be no more, can’t call your name,

and all that was won’t be the same.

The nights turn over, guilted, shamed

slow closing doors and wind-swept tracks

‘cause time so lost, that once we shared,

were times we ran, hurt and scared

to touch a soul, afraid to bare

a love that longed to bloom and swell.

I feed on time, it feeds on me,

I feel the tides, I’m lost at sea;

the words have come, the words have flowed,

returned as lies and witnessed crimes

like all the poems, like all their rhymes,

that said the same, time after time,

of dreams he has, of those he knows,

of those he doesn’t, looking still;

‘cause all things change, bitter pills

destroying dreams, it kill kill kills...

I’m left to drift in endlessly.

I grew the seed to watch it go,

I knew the weeds that missed the hoe;

I dug with hands and slept with dirt

just trying my best, yet missed the mark.

Ideals believed, turned faithless, stark;

I didn’t know my lines would arc.

I lost the light when it got dark,

now voices pray while chances prey––

on spilling sands, decisions weigh,

consume the moment when I say;

I’ve seen the bloom I hope you sow.

No melody, no symphony,

no lack of heart, for harmony

accepts my role and winds my head

a tangle twisted crown of thorn

I hope eludes you, be forewarned;

embrace what lies beneath the storm,

and hear my heart in words I’ve said.

The world is small, with wounds to treat,

mistakes to heal; forgiveness pleats

where each the other seeks to meet

their purpose, wrung epiphany.

I’ll cry the tears, with bludgeoned eyes,

and hold my ground; I’ll watch you leave,

inside I’ll die as knots unweave,

and pray you find the truth I grieve,

then give it breath and live it wise.

serenade; aabcccbddda x3, + E= fgggf